yeah...

...ever have a day where it feels good to do mindless things like cutting vegetables, just driving listening to music and thinking of the people in your life (not exactly mindless) - or not thinking because it might be the opposite of a good memory...

a day when you could go either way - get pissed off or feel quietly sad and holy.
does that make sense?

i feel lonely but then i'm not sure i would want more than one person, of four, no: five specific ones that i cherish most at the moment, sitting in the car next to me. it would be too much work not to be able to just be. and if i couldn't i would rather just be lonely.

then...maybe think about fall, and human's fall from god - and
how we need so much forgiveness (every day if we're honest with ourselves), how unfair grace is, how unfair forgiveness should be and how weak i feel today.

don't approach me unfriendly or i'll get weird...
don't ask me how i am and mean it because you might get an answer you didn't want - or something you didn't want to think about today.

i like the sun and how it shines today - it's beautiful.
i miss parts of my family.
i'm grateful for how god proves our hopelessness wrong at twocor.
and i'd just like to drive with music or sit with a book.

you could come with me, but you might not want to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqOqo50LSZ0