new land

look out.
it's new land.
you are relieved of the system.
that one goal of beating it is almost checked off.

now?

it's o.k. if you feel lost.
and confused as to where to look to now.
you have freedom to redefine what you want to follow now
and the defining doesn't happen overnight.
it takes time to rethink what you're looking forward to.
what you prefer to look forward to..

a weird unused new freedom...
and you can put that freedom on slowly
like a new coat
while you get used to the chains not rattling.
start dreaming more.
take another step now.
take charge of your life the way you can and want to live it right.
you are free to make up your mind again where to go.
amidst doing that
the people that have been with you
will be there.

step off the system island.
and trust the guy upstairs.
everybody cheer!

any thoughts on...

how can i be sure that i will get to heaven
after i once accepted jesus into my life

can i be sure?

i mean: i'm forever a child of god's,
but what if i don't live it the way i should or can

it's not by works...
so am i o.k....
so is heaven "garanteed"?

does god promise me that - forever: does he have a space saved?

what if i fall?

what if i turn away?

is it: no matter what i do he is faithful?
because that is one of his amazing characteristics


if i repent, he forgives...

i'm so excited that i bought a tape player!!! sure not excited about the way i bought it, and that i paid $10 for one working speaker instead of two...so much for my business sense. Ha ha. terrible. an exercise in laughing about myself...doesn't hurt.
but here we go, this is one of my favorite old school 80's songs - from the christian side (me and my songs hehe):
but hey, it's glorious


Hallowed be Thy name oh King of Kings
Father of our needs in everything
We thank you for what you have done
Your Kingdom come, Thy will be done

Lord give us bread we need each day
And forgive our debts that we must pay
And deliver us from the evil one
Your Kingdom come, Thy will be done

Cleanse our hearts, let our spirit be made new
Let us hear Your Words of Life
And draw our strength from You
Lead us on to living waters that You bring
Let us want Your will in everything
lead us to the Throne of Grace
lead us to your Holy Place, Thy will be done

Lead us not into temptations snare
Help us find our way with fervent prayer
Let us see the Cross where Glory won
In heaven and earth, Thy will be done

Cleanse our hearts
Let our spirit be made new
Let us hear Your Words of Life
And draw our strength from You
Lead us onto living waters that You bring
Let us want Your will in everything
Lead us to the Throne of Grace
Lead us to Your Holy Place
Thy will be done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFJWi0hXu6w

little birds

good times

talking about dark and light
what would you do
and thoughts of what would i
drinking the chai
and pausing to look at the baby's smile
laughing very loud at your silliness
happy to be
and only noticing before we leave
that the clock on the wall
stood still ten hours ago.

thank you for adding joy
and thoughts
and tears
and everyday moments
to my life
that i would otherwise not have

until next time.

for k.

when you are gone

i walk into the garden

and sit with my shadow

and i lament

how much i'm missing you

spring is here.

it's felt like i needed the hope.
deep down i've been discussing
with myself
what it looks like when fear doesn't win
when god wins over this world.
there are many examples in history
but what about my history.
what about my relationships
my work
every day.
the movie "brothers"
really kicked me in the butt,
and somehow not in a good way so far
because the tenacious heavyness of life
and how we are able to choose evil
(or good, but i'm thinking more of the downside)
goes round and round in my head.
i wonder what god is doing there in my head...

i hear what He's reminding me of between my thoughts:

don't be afraid, I have overcome the world.

phew.
i desire to live out of that
so i can shoulder the questions
and decide at the crossroads
with more confidence
and look at the light.

that's the bit of paradise we see in our young children:
they're not as scared
they don't have to make up their mind as much yet
which way to go:
they run, jump, laugh and believe the best
(can't help but think: unless they've seen some of the worst,
but god can do miracles there).
it's uplifting to feel their peace.

and His second thought to me is:
that i'm not alone-and He knows what he's doing.

o.k.
run the race then.