spring is here.

it's felt like i needed the hope.
deep down i've been discussing
with myself
what it looks like when fear doesn't win
when god wins over this world.
there are many examples in history
but what about my history.
what about my relationships
my work
every day.
the movie "brothers"
really kicked me in the butt,
and somehow not in a good way so far
because the tenacious heavyness of life
and how we are able to choose evil
(or good, but i'm thinking more of the downside)
goes round and round in my head.
i wonder what god is doing there in my head...

i hear what He's reminding me of between my thoughts:

don't be afraid, I have overcome the world.

phew.
i desire to live out of that
so i can shoulder the questions
and decide at the crossroads
with more confidence
and look at the light.

that's the bit of paradise we see in our young children:
they're not as scared
they don't have to make up their mind as much yet
which way to go:
they run, jump, laugh and believe the best
(can't help but think: unless they've seen some of the worst,
but god can do miracles there).
it's uplifting to feel their peace.

and His second thought to me is:
that i'm not alone-and He knows what he's doing.

o.k.
run the race then.