dreams and Radler

dreams do a number on me four times out of five...
i woke up waiting for a call that i wasn't waiting for...
someone was getting murdered, i was in a city of ruins and not getting the call i wanted.

i bet i borrowed the someone that got murdered from "5 minutes of heaven". is not a romance by the way, but a movie about hope - at least off and on. i like movies that process possible life scenarios realistically. this one does. made me think of the 2cor kids. and anyone that makes mistakes while they're alive. and anyone that can't handle making mistakes very well (like any of us) and where time doesn't heal neccessarily.

luca has been listening to the little mermaid for probably three straight days...living in reality? not so much, but she is playing the story out creatively in all sorts of ways: with playmobil. we took a break today - there's imagination and breaks to dreaming. today it's reality :) and playing in water and sunshine in the yard is a good reality.

i'm spending zoo nap time watching Les Miserables. one of my favorite movies. makes me think of our friend-in-heaven Karen, why i love the kind of people i want to go back to work with - and what i have a long ways to go to.
how evil is constantly willfully disarmed in this movie is amazing. and how the refusal to give in to evil weighs heavy, because evil is not abolished, but left to deal with itself until it collapses - until finally there is peace.

in the end kind of waiting for a phone call,
enjoying the peace of Jax
and counting the days until i can have a Radler with friends in Germany.
YES!!!!

my own skin

was more in my own skin today - felt like i anyway:

to have german acquaintance-visitors
that felt at home in our diggs
.
and i felt at home talking
however my mouth grew (as the germans say)

refreshing and funny
talking about the different cultures...
how this makes sense here,
how that makes sense there...
and how nice it would be to
mix the american niceness and politeness
with the german candidness and honesty

where i feel o.k. the way i parent
because i know i'm not weird, i just parent more german :)

nice.
bye.
and thank you for a piece of that part of home.

not nature or "old man"

i'm liking this passage today - we talked about it in twocor staff meeting - and it's hard.


HE has told you,
O man,
what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but
to do justice,
and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8


that means i'm not rationalizing my actions,
because usually i'm not acting justly...

do i love kindness
or do i get more attention out of underlining
un
kindness

do i look up at God
as i stumble and walk along
or do i look at the ground grumbling
about how he does me wrong


humbly, my friend
take off your shoes and go in to see HIM
lay it down

you can throw the dice
but
they will fall where he wants them to

surrender

cali

caleidoscope coffee shop.
yes!ssss!
colorful, new purpose, creativity, time, new job and cali (as in what the english say: cool, sweet, awesome).
and hopefully on union lane.
can't believe it would look so right to so many people
and the idea would be all there was.
so hoping for news on our grant to be able to plan more -
God willing, right? :)

end of this week

...weekends tend to have everything in them - this one really had it in it. i need a weekend from the weekend :) some seriously better communications, the same beautiful weather, some serious time to do whatever, another swimming lesson for luca and the same smiles from jax. and another preacher on fire! that was a neat sermon on sunday. i don't need better friends. they're all right.

food and air

one of my cool coworkers
- what a great and challenging thing to work with awesome but broken people :) -
thought i needed to slow down and get some time in for myself.
he's an ex-boxer so he suggested exercise.
i might have disappointed him when i stated indoor sport - naw...
plus with two kids?
so i thought about it
and told him that, really, i do get the time i need if

i dig my hands into my garden

i work the best i can (on most days) with numbers and people

i talk to my favorite momo in germany and feel like myself

and...when i get time with the seven or eight people i love most

while i talk to god frequently

i basically don't need much more
apart from that plus food and air.

among the best

yeah, unusual compliments make my days.

we will always raise questions from time to time.

but party?
(translate: be happy, hang around, live)
pah: we can anyway.

love this.